Sexual relationships are unstable

One woman mixed feelings of frustration, confusion and deep love for her partner and felt very conflicted about the person she loved:

“I often feel uneasy and insecure for some small reasons, such as he didn’t call or he wasn’t romantic enough. I talked to him and talked openly, but I couldn’t seem to impress him. Except for the occasional cute words when he wanted to talk, he didn’t respond at all and didn’t want to have sex, but I never knew why.

“Should I ask myself: Does he still love me? Or is it normal on my side? If I am extremely sad and he won’t talk it out or solve the problem with me, should I say: “Well, it’s okay, it’s okay, because he is okay and he is still here and he still loves me!” Or should I say: “Our relationship is really bad, and I am leaving him because he makes me so miserable!” Questions like these often run through my mind. Because I love him, So it’s even harder for me to leave him.

“Should I help him untie his knot, or should I think about myself and break up with him? Or maybe I should get pregnant to solve all our problems (I know he won’t ask me to have an abortion).

“But he always says hurtful things to me, like I’m like a little girl. One day I wrote a piece of paper to explain my feelings to him. It was written late at night, and the next morning I saw the note saying, ‘I know you think I’m complicated and unreasonable, but I’m too lazy to explain to you…’ I couldn’t believe I wrote these words. Isn’t this degrading me? His ideas are so overbearing, like the movie “Gaslight”, implying that all your ideas are wrong. This is an old movie with Ingrid Bergman and Charles Boll. In the movie, he tries to make her believe that her ideas are wrong, for example, he tries to make the lights sway, but insists that the lights are not moving and it’s all her illusion. I guess the meaning of this movie is that men are the standard and women are out of the norm. But all this starts unconsciously – if 3 Months ago, if someone had suggested that I was ‘complicated and unreasonable’, I would have jumped in anger – it happens slowly, and your self-esteem and confidence slowly disappear. Now it seems obvious that I want to live out my single life again and become strong again. I say this now, but…

“The problem is that at the beginning, he said he didn’t know what to do, he was in love, and then he denied it, or he acted exactly the opposite – indifferent. I thought to myself: ‘Is this person just talking nonsense?’ It was almost like someone was pestering me to jump into the deep end of the pool. When I really jumped in (with all my feelings), fell in love with him and believed him, he said: ‘What’s wrong? Why did you choose me?’ The whole process, I was scared to death, thinking to myself that no matter what happened, I would treat him well: ‘Believe him, believe him.’ I didn’t let myself believe the negative signs, but instead comforted myself by saying that he was just insecure, or because I tried to be self-sustaining and seemed to have no weaknesses, so That’s why he would react like that. I was always scared, thinking, “Will he stay?” In a relationship like ours, where there is no commitment at all, anyone can quit at any time if they don’t want to continue. But I tried not to think about it. I just believed that our relationship would be valuable and long-lasting, even though he didn’t say so.

“Maybe there was something wrong with me. I became weak. Instead of focusing on my career, I indulged in phone chats and dating. Why does love make people so weak? Later it became a game of strategy, and he seemed to be in control of the situation. But who knows, maybe he thought I was in control of the situation and was as helpless as I was! Oh, here I am again, lost in our relationship. I lost myself in this relationship and I was angry with myself!

“It’s really hard to judge this situation: is he afraid to love, or does he really not love me? Sometimes I think I’m too enthusiastic, and sometimes I think he loves me, but he won’t get married no matter what. And he wants If he loves me, why does he leave me so often? Does he really have to spend so much time working? If we get married, I will feel at ease because I know he really loves me in some way. As it is now, although he calls me every day, I always have wild thoughts and feel insecure. Every time we meet, I let him arrange it and he tells me when he will come to see me. I try to spend more time on work and treat him the same way, but he doesn’t seem to care at all. I am the one who gets hurt because I miss him.

“Why do I want this person who makes me unhappy? His sneer and disdain for women always show up inadvertently. But the rest of the time he is really great, charming and funny. However, he is not that great in bed.

“If I complain that I feel annoyed and can’t get through his defenses, my mother will advise me: “It’s easy to talk to friends, but it’s different when talking to men. When you are with men, you don’t talk too much. You must first have a sense of freedom in your heart before you can get along with men. No matter how free you are now, No matter how strong you are, when you are with a man, you will start to care about him, you will lose yourself and become indecisive. Daughter, if you are smart, you will feel that he does not belong to you completely. Men want beautiful and smart women, but this woman must still be under their control. ‘I don’t believe this. I think this situation should be like what Laurence Olivier said in a movie: ‘No matter what they tell you, in the end you can only rely on yourself, and no one can replace you. ‘I guess this is why people like moderation – it is safer to follow the group.

“Life is not fair, and love relationships with men are not fair, but I still fell in love with a man. How can I get him? Should I play a game and wait for him to take the bait? Should I become strong and independent, or should I act like I need him? I feel so stressed and start to feel insecure. What’s worse, I actually let him see that I am insecure. I have no idea what our future will be like, but I really care.”

77% of women said that they always feel terrible because of men’s occasional actions. Most people are thinking: What countermeasures should be taken to deal with this situation so as not to feel used, taken advantage of, or even deceived into bed:

“I can’t tell him that I want to be with him all the time and want to marry him, because then I will lose power. I can’t explain why, but I just know it in my bones. He has to chase me (he has to want me first), and I can’t show that I want him, otherwise I will lose him. It’s really unreasonable, but that’s how it is.”

“I always feel like I will lose something if I express my feelings first. If you want to play fair with them, they think you are stupid and weak. So I finally gave up the strategy of using power, but I no longer respect them and don’t want them anymore. But they want me.”

“Everything we do is controlled by him: whether we go out to eat, when he will come, when he is free, whether we will eat alone or with his friends, when he calls…”

“The most unreasonable thing in our relationship is I just don’t know anything. I don’t know if he really loves me, if he really wants to marry me, if he wants to see if we’re compatible before he proposes, or if he’s screaming when we’re going to break up and just wants to enjoy this time?”

“Every time I’ve been in a relationship with a man, my self-esteem has been damaged. And it’s my own fault for being so invested in the beginning – I have endless troubles (but I know it’s caused by society). Men’s functions allow him to orgasm every time he’s on top of me, and I have to accept his indifference (which is his control over me) and endure his emotional draining of me, even when he makes me so insecure that he even leaves me, I still love him.”

When answering various questions, women’s answers often imply that they feel that men are emotionally controlling their relationship and their personal status to some extent:

“I often feel that men always have the upper hand in sexual relationships and relationships.”

“I really feel that whether they want to accept me or reject me, I can only let them decide. The prettier and more arousing women are more likely to be women who are more likely to be women. , it certainly helps, but it can also have the opposite effect. When I’m in a relationship, I’m almost always pretending that I don’t care unless the other person expresses his attitude. Men have to pursue me all the time. I’m shy, but if the situation is the opposite, because I feel scared and terrified by their rejection, I pretend that I don’t care. This approach will work if the man is really interested, but this doesn’t happen often. ”

“My biggest fear is that I’m always afraid of losing him. When he comes and when he leaves is entirely up to him.”

“For women, love is a problem because they are too involved and too dependent on others. They want security and commitment, but men are different. This is the problem for many women, including myself.”

“Whether our relationship will continue depends entirely on his willingness, because I want it.”

Is this a sexual relationship?

Many single women describe men’s behavior as puzzling and contradictory:

“The first weekend, he didn’t show up or call. A few days later I wrote a note I wrote to him sarcastically: Maybe I made a mistake in the date we agreed on. I told him clearly that I was looking forward to hearing how he would solve the problem we were facing. After receiving my letter, he called me and explained that his car had a problem. He also said that his way was not to tell the other party what happened. I told him that I could not accept this behavior and it gave me the message that I was not important.

“But on the second weekend, he did not come when he was supposed to. This time I was unwilling to call or write him. If he wanted to be my friend, he should face this situation. If he did not explain the reason clearly, he was destined to lose me. The most annoying thing about him is that he said he would do this and that but did not do it. This gave me the message that I was not important. I hate to play relationships as games. I will not do this, but the premise is that they will not do this either. Why would he do this? This is completely destroying our relationship.”

“When I first got married, I was very open, shared everything with men, and had high desires. I met and had sex with a new man, but after 3 A week later, he told me that he couldn’t handle the physical intimacy of sex, that it made him feel like he was losing himself and couldn’t breathe. So we agreed to keep our relationship platonic, still talking on the phone and seeing each other occasionally, but no sex.

“We went out last weekend. We went boating, got groceries, and then went to his place, but no sex. He was going to make dinner for me, and at that moment, he grabbed me and kissed me. I was standing in the dark, looking at the lights outside the window, and he hugged me from behind and started caressing me, then turned me around and kissed me several times. Later, while we were preparing dinner, he put his arm around me and really started kissing and caressing me. We had dinner and then went to bed (I was very careful) I was mentally healthy sleeping on my half of the bed, I respected his need for space, and I wasn’t going to cross the line unless he invited me to).

“The next morning I asked him if he had any regrets, he said no, we sat down and had coffee for an hour, then I left. When I left he kissed me again. That was Sunday morning, now Thursday night. I don’t know if he was hardening his mind from having sex with me because he couldn’t handle the situation. Did he really not want to have sex with me and didn’t know what to say to me, or did he really care about me but was afraid of it? I started to become less open and less willing to share, and sex was really unpredictable.”

57% of women say most men can’t end a relationship peacefully. A few women said that men abandoned them suddenly and without explanation:

“He suddenly stopped calling, and when I called him, he was in a bad mood and didn’t want to see him again. I was very hurt. The last time we were together, everything was so wonderful. I really don’t understand why there was such a change. I feel that he betrayed me, and I thought he was a good person before. Where can I find such a good relationship? I don’t know why he gave up, and I know he is also very satisfied. Now I really want to tell him all these feelings, but he doesn’t call me, and I try to call him again, but it’s in vain. That 4 “I’ve been dumped so many times, and I never got any warning, and I didn’t have a choice, and that’s what makes me angry. No one said, ‘We have some problems, so we have to fix them, or we’re done.’ No one said, ‘Hey, we had a lot of fun, but that’s over, let’s say goodbye.’ They just left me there and didn’t return my calls or call me.” A woman talked about her boyfriend starting to date someone else: “That was horrible. He didn’t even mention breaking up, and he started dating someone else. I was dating someone I had never dated before. When I found out, I confronted him and he said it was okay, I was still there, so he still loved me, but he continued to spend the night with her, so I left.

“I felt like I had no choice. I thought if he loved me, he would come (he didn’t), and if he didn’t, I might as well walk away. I was still in love with him for months after I left (I still do, but only a little). I was completely ruined, and I blamed myself for not being good enough: not good-looking enough, not funny enough, not smart enough. I hated him, but I still loved him. If he came back (he did, many times before), I would probably accept him again. Thank God, he didn’t, so I waited until he came back. When he came back to me six months later, I had made a new friend and found something new to do. I could accept him or leave him, which is what we are doing now. He is really good with women, but I think I have seen through him now. ”

Another woman’s boyfriend asked her to have an abortion after she became pregnant and then left her:

“When I was 21, I fell in love with a boy (this was my first time to fall in love), and then I got pregnant. I wanted to give birth to the child, marry him, and live happily ever after. But when I told him the news, he told me (not to discuss it with me) that unless I had an abortion, he would break up with me. He was so indifferent to this matter and had no feelings at all. At that time, he had no job and no money, and I had no money, so he called his father to ask for money.

Sexual relationships are unstable

One woman mixed feelings of frustration, confusion and deep love for her partner and felt very conflicted about the person she loved:

“I often feel uneasy and insecure for some small reasons, such as he didn’t call or he wasn’t romantic enough. I talked to him and talked openly, but I couldn’t seem to impress him. Except for the occasional cute words when he wanted to talk, he didn’t respond at all and didn’t want to have sex, but I never knew why.

“Should I ask myself: Does he still love me? Or is it normal on my side? If I am extremely sad and he won’t talk it out or solve the problem with me, should I say: “Well, it’s okay, it’s okay, because he is okay and he is still here and he still loves me!” Or should I say: “Our relationship is really bad, and I am leaving him because he makes me so miserable!” Questions like these often run through my mind. Because I love him, So it’s even harder for me to leave him.

“Should I help him untie his knot, or should I think about myself and break up with him? Or maybe I should get pregnant to solve all our problems (I know he won’t ask me to have an abortion).

“But he always says hurtful things to me, like I’m like a little girl. One day I wrote a piece of paper to explain my feelings to him. It was written late at night, and the next morning I saw the note saying, ‘I know you think I’m complicated and unreasonable, but I’m too lazy to explain to you…’ I couldn’t believe I wrote these words. Isn’t this degrading me? His ideas are so overbearing, like the movie “Gaslight”, implying that all your ideas are wrong. This is an old movie with Ingrid Bergman and Charles Boll. In the movie, he tries to make her believe that her ideas are wrong, for example, he tries to make the lights sway, but insists that the lights are not moving and it’s all her illusion. I guess the meaning of this movie is that men are the standard and women are out of the norm. But all this starts unconsciously – if 3 Months ago, if someone had suggested that I was ‘complicated and unreasonable’, I would have jumped in anger – it happens slowly, and your self-esteem and confidence slowly disappear. Now it seems obvious that I want to live out my single life again and become strong again. I say this now, but…

“The problem is that at the beginning, he said he didn’t know what to do, he was in love, and then he denied it, or he acted exactly the opposite – indifferent. I thought to myself: ‘Is this person just talking nonsense?’ It was almost like someone was pestering me to jump into the deep end of the pool. When I really jumped in (with all my feelings), fell in love with him and believed him, he said: ‘What’s wrong? Why did you choose me?’ The whole process, I was scared to death, thinking to myself that no matter what happened, I would treat him well: ‘Believe him, believe him.’ I didn’t let myself believe the negative signs, but instead comforted myself by saying that he was just insecure, or because I tried to be self-sustaining and seemed to have no weaknesses, so That’s why he would react like that. I was always scared, thinking, “Will he stay?” In a relationship like ours, where there is no commitment at all, anyone can quit at any time if they don’t want to continue. But I tried not to think about it. I just believed that our relationship would be valuable and long-lasting, even though he didn’t say so.

“Maybe there was something wrong with me. I became weak. Instead of focusing on my career, I indulged in phone chats and dating. Why does love make people so weak? Later it became a game of strategy, and he seemed to be in control of the situation. But who knows, maybe he thought I was in control of the situation and was as helpless as I was! Oh, here I am again, lost in our relationship. I lost myself in this relationship and I was angry with myself!

“It’s really hard to judge this situation: is he afraid to love, or does he really not love me? Sometimes I think I’m too enthusiastic, and sometimes I think he loves me, but he won’t get married no matter what. And he wants If he loves me, why does he leave me so often? Does he really have to spend so much time working? If we get married, I will feel at ease because I know he really loves me in some way. As it is now, although he calls me every day, I always have wild thoughts and feel insecure. Every time we meet, I let him arrange it and he tells me when he will come to see me. I try to spend more time on work and treat him the same way, but he doesn’t seem to care at all. I am the one who gets hurt because I miss him.

“Why do I want this person who makes me unhappy? His sneer and disdain for women always show up inadvertently. But the rest of the time he is really great, charming and funny. However, he is not that great in bed.

“If I complain that I feel annoyed and can’t get through his defenses, my mother will advise me: “It’s easy to talk to friends, but it’s different when talking to men. When you are with men, you don’t talk too much. You must first have a sense of freedom in your heart before you can get along with men. No matter how free you are now, No matter how strong you are, when you are with a man, you will start to care about him, you will lose yourself and become indecisive. Daughter, if you are smart, you will feel that he does not belong to you completely. Men want beautiful and smart women, but this woman must still be under their control. ‘I don’t believe this. I think this situation should be like what Laurence Olivier said in a movie: ‘No matter what they tell you, in the end you can only rely on yourself, and no one can replace you. ‘I guess this is why people like moderation – it is safer to follow the group.

“Life is not fair, and love relationships with men are not fair, but I still fell in love with a man. How can I get him? Should I play a game and wait for him to take the bait? Should I become strong and independent, or should I act like I need him? I feel so stressed and start to feel insecure. What’s worse, I actually let him see that I am insecure. I have no idea what our future will be like, but I really care.”

77% of women said that they always feel terrible because of men’s occasional actions. Most people are thinking: What countermeasures should be taken to deal with this situation so as not to feel used, taken advantage of, or even deceived into bed:

“I can’t tell him that I want to be with him all the time and want to marry him, because then I will lose power. I can’t explain why, but I just know it in my bones. He has to chase me (he has to want me first), and I can’t show that I want him, otherwise I will lose him. It’s really unreasonable, but that’s how it is.”

“I always feel like I will lose something if I express my feelings first. If you want to play fair with them, they think you are stupid and weak. So I finally gave up the strategy of using power, but I no longer respect them and don’t want them anymore. But they want me.”

“Everything we do is controlled by him: whether we go out to eat, when he will come, when he is free, whether we will eat alone or with his friends, when he calls…”

“The most unreasonable thing in our relationship is I just don’t know anything. I don’t know if he really loves me, if he really wants to marry me, if he wants to see if we’re compatible before he proposes, or if he’s screaming when we’re going to break up and just wants to enjoy this time?”

“Every time I’ve been in a relationship with a man, my self-esteem has been damaged. And it’s my own fault for being so invested in the beginning – I have endless troubles (but I know it’s caused by society). Men’s functions allow him to orgasm every time he’s on top of me, and I have to accept his indifference (which is his control over me) and endure his emotional draining of me, even when he makes me so insecure that he even leaves me, I still love him.”

When answering various questions, women’s answers often imply that they feel that men are emotionally controlling their relationship and their personal status to some extent:

“I often feel that men always have the upper hand in sexual relationships and relationships.”

“I really feel that whether they want to accept me or reject me, I can only let them decide. The prettier and more arousing women are more likely to be women who are more likely to be women. , it certainly helps, but it can also have the opposite effect. When I’m in a relationship, I’m almost always pretending that I don’t care unless the other person expresses his attitude. Men have to pursue me all the time. I’m shy, but if the situation is the opposite, because I feel scared and terrified by their rejection, I pretend that I don’t care. This approach will work if the man is really interested, but this doesn’t happen often. ”

“My biggest fear is that I’m always afraid of losing him. When he comes and when he leaves is entirely up to him.”

“For women, love is a problem because they are too involved and too dependent on others. They want security and commitment, but men are different. This is the problem for many women, including myself.”

“Whether our relationship will continue depends entirely on his willingness, because I want it.”

Is this a sexual relationship?

Many single women describe men’s behavior as puzzling and contradictory:

“The first weekend, he didn’t show up or call. A few days later I wrote a note I wrote to him sarcastically: Maybe I made a mistake in the date we agreed on. I told him clearly that I was looking forward to hearing how he would solve the problem we were facing. After receiving my letter, he called me and explained that his car had a problem. He also said that his way was not to tell the other party what happened. I told him that I could not accept this behavior and it gave me the message that I was not important.

“But on the second weekend, he did not come when he was supposed to. This time I was unwilling to call or write him. If he wanted to be my friend, he should face this situation. If he did not explain the reason clearly, he was destined to lose me. The most annoying thing about him is that he said he would do this and that but did not do it. This gave me the message that I was not important. I hate to play relationships as games. I will not do this, but the premise is that they will not do this either. Why would he do this? This is completely destroying our relationship.”

“When I first got married, I was very open, shared everything with men, and had high desires. I met and had sex with a new man, but after 3 A week later, he told me that he couldn’t handle the physical intimacy of sex, that it made him feel like he was losing himself and couldn’t breathe. So we agreed to keep our relationship platonic, still talking on the phone and seeing each other occasionally, but no sex.

“We went out last weekend. We went boating, got groceries, and then went to his place, but no sex. He was going to make dinner for me, and at that moment, he grabbed me and kissed me. I was standing in the dark, looking at the lights outside the window, and he hugged me from behind and started caressing me, then turned me around and kissed me several times. Later, while we were preparing dinner, he put his arm around me and really started kissing and caressing me. We had dinner and then went to bed (I was very careful) I was mentally healthy sleeping on my half of the bed, I respected his need for space, and I wasn’t going to cross the line unless he invited me to).

“The next morning I asked him if he had any regrets, he said no, we sat down and had coffee for an hour, then I left. When I left he kissed me again. That was Sunday morning, now Thursday night. I don’t know if he was hardening his mind from having sex with me because he couldn’t handle the situation. Did he really not want to have sex with me and didn’t know what to say to me, or did he really care about me but was afraid of it? I started to become less open and less willing to share, and sex was really unpredictable.”

57% of women say most men can’t end a relationship peacefully. A few women said that men abandoned them suddenly and without explanation:

“He suddenly stopped calling, and when I called him, he was in a bad mood and didn’t want to see him again. I was very hurt. The last time we were together, everything was so wonderful. I really don’t understand why there was such a change. I feel that he betrayed me, and I thought he was a good person before. Where can I find such a good relationship? I don’t know why he gave up, and I know he is also very satisfied. Now I really want to tell him all these feelings, but he doesn’t call me, and I try to call him again, but it’s in vain. That 4 “I’ve been dumped so many times, and I never got any warning, and I didn’t have a choice, and that’s what makes me angry. No one said, ‘We have some problems, so we have to fix them, or we’re done.’ No one said, ‘Hey, we had a lot of fun, but that’s over, let’s say goodbye.’ They just left me there and didn’t return my calls or call me.” A woman talked about her boyfriend starting to date someone else: “That was horrible. He didn’t even mention breaking up, and he started dating someone else. I was dating someone I had never dated before. When I found out, I confronted him and he said it was okay, I was still there, so he still loved me, but he continued to spend the night with her, so I left.

“I felt like I had no choice. I thought if he loved me, he would come (he didn’t), and if he didn’t, I might as well walk away. I was still in love with him for months after I left (I still do, but only a little). I was completely ruined, and I blamed myself for not being good enough: not good-looking enough, not funny enough, not smart enough. I hated him, but I still loved him. If he came back (he did, many times before), I would probably accept him again. Thank God, he didn’t, so I waited until he came back. When he came back to me six months later, I had made a new friend and found something new to do. I could accept him or leave him, which is what we are doing now. He is really good with women, but I think I have seen through him now. ”

Another woman’s boyfriend asked her to have an abortion after she became pregnant and then left her:

“When I was 21, I fell in love with a boy (this was my first time to fall in love), and then I got pregnant. I wanted to give birth to the child, marry him, and live happily ever after. But when I told him the news, he told me (not to discuss it with me) that unless I had an abortion, he would break up with me. He was so indifferent to this matter and had no feelings at all. At that time, he had no job and no money, and I had no money, so he called his father to ask for money.

Sexual relationships are unstable

One woman mixed feelings of frustration, confusion and deep love for her partner and felt very conflicted about the person she loved:

“I often feel uneasy and insecure for some small reasons, such as he didn’t call or he wasn’t romantic enough. I talked to him and talked openly, but I couldn’t seem to impress him. Except for the occasional cute words when he wanted to talk, he didn’t respond at all and didn’t want to have sex, but I never knew why.

“Should I ask myself: Does he still love me? Or is it normal on my side? If I am extremely sad and he won’t talk it out or solve the problem with me, should I say: “Well, it’s okay, it’s okay, because he is okay and he is still here and he still loves me!” Or should I say: “Our relationship is really bad, and I am leaving him because he makes me so miserable!” Questions like these often run through my mind. Because I love him, So it’s even harder for me to leave him.

“Should I help him untie his knot, or should I think about myself and break up with him? Or maybe I should get pregnant to solve all our problems (I know he won’t ask me to have an abortion).

“But he always says hurtful things to me, like I’m like a little girl. One day I wrote a piece of paper to explain my feelings to him. It was written late at night, and the next morning I saw the note saying, ‘I know you think I’m complicated and unreasonable, but I’m too lazy to explain to you…’ I couldn’t believe I wrote these words. Isn’t this degrading me? His ideas are so overbearing, like the movie “Gaslight”, implying that all your ideas are wrong. This is an old movie with Ingrid Bergman and Charles Boll. In the movie, he tries to make her believe that her ideas are wrong, for example, he tries to make the lights sway, but insists that the lights are not moving and it’s all her illusion. I guess the meaning of this movie is that men are the standard and women are out of the norm. But all this starts unconsciously – if 3 Months ago, if someone had suggested that I was ‘complicated and unreasonable’, I would have jumped in anger – it happens slowly, and your self-esteem and confidence slowly disappear. Now it seems obvious that I want to live out my single life again and become strong again. I say this now, but…

“The problem is that at the beginning, he said he didn’t know what to do, he was in love, and then he denied it, or he acted exactly the opposite – indifferent. I thought to myself: ‘Is this person just talking nonsense?’ It was almost like someone was pestering me to jump into the deep end of the pool. When I really jumped in (with all my feelings), fell in love with him and believed him, he said: ‘What’s wrong? Why did you choose me?’ The whole process, I was scared to death, thinking to myself that no matter what happened, I would treat him well: ‘Believe him, believe him.’ I didn’t let myself believe the negative signs, but instead comforted myself by saying that he was just insecure, or because I tried to be self-sustaining and seemed to have no weaknesses, so That’s why he would react like that. I was always scared, thinking, “Will he stay?” In a relationship like ours, where there is no commitment at all, anyone can quit at any time if they don’t want to continue. But I tried not to think about it. I just believed that our relationship would be valuable and long-lasting, even though he didn’t say so.

“Maybe there was something wrong with me. I became weak. Instead of focusing on my career, I indulged in phone chats and dating. Why does love make people so weak? Later it became a game of strategy, and he seemed to be in control of the situation. But who knows, maybe he thought I was in control of the situation and was as helpless as I was! Oh, here I am again, lost in our relationship. I lost myself in this relationship and I was angry with myself!

“It’s really hard to judge this situation: is he afraid to love, or does he really not love me? Sometimes I think I’m too enthusiastic, and sometimes I think he loves me, but he won’t get married no matter what. And he wants If he loves me, why does he leave me so often? Does he really have to spend so much time working? If we get married, I will feel at ease because I know he really loves me in some way. As it is now, although he calls me every day, I always have wild thoughts and feel insecure. Every time we meet, I let him arrange it and he tells me when he will come to see me. I try to spend more time on work and treat him the same way, but he doesn’t seem to care at all. I am the one who gets hurt because I miss him.

“Why do I want this person who makes me unhappy? His sneer and disdain for women always show up inadvertently. But the rest of the time he is really great, charming and funny. However, he is not that great in bed.

“If I complain that I feel annoyed and can’t get through his defenses, my mother will advise me: “It’s easy to talk to friends, but it’s different when talking to men. When you are with men, you don’t talk too much. You must first have a sense of freedom in your heart before you can get along with men. No matter how free you are now, No matter how strong you are, when you are with a man, you will start to care about him, you will lose yourself and become indecisive. Daughter, if you are smart, you will feel that he does not belong to you completely. Men want beautiful and smart women, but this woman must still be under their control. ‘I don’t believe this. I think this situation should be like what Laurence Olivier said in a movie: ‘No matter what they tell you, in the end you can only rely on yourself, and no one can replace you. ‘I guess this is why people like moderation – it is safer to follow the group.

“Life is not fair, and love relationships with men are not fair, but I still fell in love with a man. How can I get him? Should I play a game and wait for him to take the bait? Should I become strong and independent, or should I act like I need him? I feel so stressed and start to feel insecure. What’s worse, I actually let him see that I am insecure. I have no idea what our future will be like, but I really care.”

77% of women said that they always feel terrible because of men’s occasional actions. Most people are thinking: What countermeasures should be taken to deal with this situation so as not to feel used, taken advantage of, or even deceived into bed:

“I can’t tell him that I want to be with him all the time and want to marry him, because then I will lose power. I can’t explain why, but I just know it in my bones. He has to chase me (he has to want me first), and I can’t show that I want him, otherwise I will lose him. It’s really unreasonable, but that’s how it is.”

“I always feel like I will lose something if I express my feelings first. If you want to play fair with them, they think you are stupid and weak. So I finally gave up the strategy of using power, but I no longer respect them and don’t want them anymore. But they want me.”

“Everything we do is controlled by him: whether we go out to eat, when he will come, when he is free, whether we will eat alone or with his friends, when he calls…”

“The most unreasonable thing in our relationship is I just don’t know anything. I don’t know if he really loves me, if he really wants to marry me, if he wants to see if we’re compatible before he proposes, or if he’s screaming when we’re going to break up and just wants to enjoy this time?”

“Every time I’ve been in a relationship with a man, my self-esteem has been damaged. And it’s my own fault for being so invested in the beginning – I have endless troubles (but I know it’s caused by society). Men’s functions allow him to orgasm every time he’s on top of me, and I have to accept his indifference (which is his control over me) and endure his emotional draining of me, even when he makes me so insecure that he even leaves me, I still love him.”

When answering various questions, women’s answers often imply that they feel that men are emotionally controlling their relationship and their personal status to some extent:

“I often feel that men always have the upper hand in sexual relationships and relationships.”

“I really feel that whether they want to accept me or reject me, I can only let them decide. The prettier and more arousing women are more likely to be women who are more likely to be women. , it certainly helps, but it can also have the opposite effect. When I’m in a relationship, I’m almost always pretending that I don’t care unless the other person expresses his attitude. Men have to pursue me all the time. I’m shy, but if the situation is the opposite, because I feel scared and terrified by their rejection, I pretend that I don’t care. This approach will work if the man is really interested, but this doesn’t happen often. ”

“My biggest fear is that I’m always afraid of losing him. When he comes and when he leaves is entirely up to him.”

“For women, love is a problem because they are too involved and too dependent on others. They want security and commitment, but men are different. This is the problem for many women, including myself.”

“Whether our relationship will continue depends entirely on his willingness, because I want it.”

Is this a sexual relationship?

Many single women describe men’s behavior as puzzling and contradictory:

“The first weekend, he didn’t show up or call. A few days later I wrote a note I wrote to him sarcastically: Maybe I made a mistake in the date we agreed on. I told him clearly that I was looking forward to hearing how he would solve the problem we were facing. After receiving my letter, he called me and explained that his car had a problem. He also said that his way was not to tell the other party what happened. I told him that I could not accept this behavior and it gave me the message that I was not important.

“But on the second weekend, he did not come when he was supposed to. This time I was unwilling to call or write him. If he wanted to be my friend, he should face this situation. If he did not explain the reason clearly, he was destined to lose me. The most annoying thing about him is that he said he would do this and that but did not do it. This gave me the message that I was not important. I hate to play relationships as games. I will not do this, but the premise is that they will not do this either. Why would he do this? This is completely destroying our relationship.”

“When I first got married, I was very open, shared everything with men, and had high desires. I met and had sex with a new man, but after 3 A week later, he told me that he couldn’t handle the physical intimacy of sex, that it made him feel like he was losing himself and couldn’t breathe. So we agreed to keep our relationship platonic, still talking on the phone and seeing each other occasionally, but no sex.

“We went out last weekend. We went boating, got groceries, and then went to his place, but no sex. He was going to make dinner for me, and at that moment, he grabbed me and kissed me. I was standing in the dark, looking at the lights outside the window, and he hugged me from behind and started caressing me, then turned me around and kissed me several times. Later, while we were preparing dinner, he put his arm around me and really started kissing and caressing me. We had dinner and then went to bed (I was very careful) I was mentally healthy sleeping on my half of the bed, I respected his need for space, and I wasn’t going to cross the line unless he invited me to).

“The next morning I asked him if he had any regrets, he said no, we sat down and had coffee for an hour, then I left. When I left he kissed me again. That was Sunday morning, now Thursday night. I don’t know if he was hardening his mind from having sex with me because he couldn’t handle the situation. Did he really not want to have sex with me and didn’t know what to say to me, or did he really care about me but was afraid of it? I started to become less open and less willing to share, and sex was really unpredictable.”

57% of women say most men can’t end a relationship peacefully. A few women said that men abandoned them suddenly and without explanation:

“He suddenly stopped calling, and when I called him, he was in a bad mood and didn’t want to see him again. I was very hurt. The last time we were together, everything was so wonderful. I really don’t understand why there was such a change. I feel that he betrayed me, and I thought he was a good person before. Where can I find such a good relationship? I don’t know why he gave up, and I know he is also very satisfied. Now I really want to tell him all these feelings, but he doesn’t call me, and I try to call him again, but it’s in vain. That 4 “I’ve been dumped so many times, and I never got any warning, and I didn’t have a choice, and that’s what makes me angry. No one said, ‘We have some problems, so we have to fix them, or we’re done.’ No one said, ‘Hey, we had a lot of fun, but that’s over, let’s say goodbye.’ They just left me there and didn’t return my calls or call me.” A woman talked about her boyfriend starting to date someone else: “That was horrible. He didn’t even mention breaking up, and he started dating someone else. I was dating someone I had never dated before. When I found out, I confronted him and he said it was okay, I was still there, so he still loved me, but he continued to spend the night with her, so I left.

“I felt like I had no choice. I thought if he loved me, he would come (he didn’t), and if he didn’t, I might as well walk away. I was still in love with him for months after I left (I still do, but only a little). I was completely ruined, and I blamed myself for not being good enough: not good-looking enough, not funny enough, not smart enough. I hated him, but I still loved him. If he came back (he did, many times before), I would probably accept him again. Thank God, he didn’t, so I waited until he came back. When he came back to me six months later, I had made a new friend and found something new to do. I could accept him or leave him, which is what we are doing now. He is really good with women, but I think I have seen through him now. ”

Another woman’s boyfriend asked her to have an abortion after she became pregnant and then left her:

“When I was 21, I fell in love with a boy (this was my first time to fall in love), and then I got pregnant. I wanted to give birth to the child, marry him, and live happily ever after. But when I told him the news, he told me (not to discuss it with me) that unless I had an abortion, he would break up with me. He was so indifferent to this matter and had no feelings at all. At that time, he had no job and no money, and I had no money, so he called his father to ask for money.