Sex is the “double-edged sword” of marital relationship

Li Lan, a wife, complained: “My husband and I quarreled over a trivial matter the other day. I don’t know why, but we have always been at odds recently. From afternoon to evening, we ignored each other, but once we got into bed, he forced me into his arms. He is really shameless. Every time he quarrels with me, he will do this without any transition. Often, I am forced to be intimate with the person who has angered me before I have calmed down. Sometimes I really want to kick him away, but seeing his playful smile, I feel a little reluctant. However, I really don’t want to do it at this time! Why can’t he reconcile with me first and then be intimate? However, rejecting my husband’s sex After all, it is very difficult to ask for sex, and it is not easy to lose temper after sex. ”

Husband Xiao Zhang’s statement was somewhat pretentious: “It is said that women are difficult to please, but it is not difficult. You don’t need to say nice things or give gifts, just ask her for sex on the night of the quarrel. It can be said that women are most afraid of going to bed. Even if something terrible happened, even if she hates you, as long as you have sex, the dark clouds in the sky will disperse. ”

Can the conflict between husband and wife be resolved by sex? Which is more important, sex or love?

Emotions are supreme

Mr. Liu, an employee of an advertising company

What is sex? Between people in love, it is called “making love”. It should not be rough, but gentle; it should not be forced by one party to the other, but should be the spiritual and physical consent of two hearts in excitement. Sex should be “done” because of “love”. If two people have sex before reconciliation after a quarrel, it will be embarrassing.

Ms. Cao, deputy manager of a building materials business company

For women, foreplay is very important. Without it, there will be no good feeling, not only can’t reach climax, but also a sense of humiliation of “being a man’s sexual tool”. If a man asks his wife for sex without transition after a quarrel, even if his original intention is to make up for the rift, his wife will still feel raped.

Sex is omnipotent

Mr. Li, taxi driver

You shouldn’t take the quarrel between husband and wife too seriously. Even the best couples have quarrels. As the saying goes, “There is no overnight hatred between husband and wife.” Reconciling with sex is probably something that every couple has experienced. In any case, it is indeed effective.

Mr. Xiao, interior decoration designer

When there is a quarrel before marriage, men may use sweet words to make their lovers laugh, because this is the only way for two people to resolve conflicts when they are in love. But men in marriage put more energy on the specific problems of family life, and his innate action will make him choose the way of choice in most cases. Language can express love, apology, and the desire for reconciliation. Sex can also express love, apology, and the desire for reconciliation. After a quarrel between husband and wife, both can occur one after another to make up for the rift, or only one of them can be chosen to achieve the same goal.

Expert comments:

The above views represent two relative views on sex. One is the sentiment supremacist. They overemphasize the sentimental component in sexual contact, and regard sexual union as an intolerable thing before the sentiment reaches a high degree of harmony. The other is the sex omnipotentist. They over-trust the power of carnal desire, and regard sex as a kind of conquest in their hearts. They believe that as long as they conquer the woman physically, they also conquer her soul at the same time.

For sentiment supremacists, when the two are in love, feelings will undoubtedly bring rich and colorful spiritual connotations to sex life. Once there is a crack in the relationship between two people, even if it is because of a little friction that causes unhappiness, the first thing to be sacrificed is sexual contact.

So, is sexual desire omnipotent? Absolutely not. It can only be said that sexual desire is not omnipotent. When spiritual communication is blocked, sexual desire first may be a solution. Use intimate physical contact to dilute the unhappiness in the heart, create a harmonious atmosphere, and then communicate the mind on this basis. For couples who always quarrel every day, this should not be completely rejected.
Spirit and flesh can have priority, but they should not be distinguished. You can put spiritual communication first, or you can put physical communication first. But sex life cannot be regarded as a panacea for all diseases. If the husband repeats the same trick again and again, or even mistakenly believes that “there will be no contradictions after sex” and gives up spiritual communication, then the wife will have psychological resistance, and even cause new injuries.